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See You In The AM: A Mental Health Podcast

See You In The AM:
A Mental Health Podcast

Available wherever you get your podcasts.

Episode: Executive Functioning with Jenai Fitzpatrick

Show Notes

"I think there's power in knowing what depletes you or what doesn't feel good. And so considering that and keeping that at the forefront, once you realize that and own it, you then allow yourself to start to see potential in your universe for different solutions on how to make it less painful, for different ways to perhaps start to let go."

In today's episode, we will discuss executive functioning with Aspyn Coach Jenai Fitzpatrick. Jenai is a thought partner and life coach with a background in psychology, counseling, and coaching, and her focus is on helping women who are ready to make a change.

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Transcript

Allie Nickle: 

Hello and welcome to the See You in the AM podcast,where we explore the many facets of mental health and wellness,share our personal experiences,interview mental health experts,and offer practical tips and resources to help you prioritize your mental wellness.I'm your co-host,Allie Nickle from Aspyn Market,and I'm joined by my friend,business partner and founder of Aspyn Market Wynter Johnson.We know there are a lot of mental health resources out there,and it's overwhelming to find the right resources that fit your needs,time and budget.So we're here to help.In each episode,we'll talk with one of Aspyn Market's mental health experts,and dig into a mental health topic that we know so many of us struggle with.In today's episode,we will discuss executive functioning with Aspyn Coach Jenai Fitzpatrick.Jenai is a thought partner and life coach with a background in psychology,counseling and coaching,and her focus on,on helping women who are ready to make a change.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Hi there.Thank you for having me.I'm very excited to chat today.

Allie Nickle: 

Uh,we are too.And with that,I'll hand it over to Wynter to get started.

Wynter Johnson: 

Awesome.So,Jenai,I've really been looking forward to our conversation today because I'll be honest,I'm not the most familiar with executive functioning and I've heard a lot of talk about it.Um,I've heard a lot of the benefits surrounding it.I've done a lot of research on it,um,but it's not something that I've been able to participate in and I'm really excited to learn more about it.So,before we get started and dive into that,do you wanna just give us an overview about you,who you are,your coaching,and just really what you're passionate about?

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Sure,I'd love to.So,um,really a long time ago,at the start of my career,I had kind of made this mental decision,or rather commitment that I wanted to be part of the solution that allows someone to bring their best self forward.And when I first graduated,um,I did that by being a preschool teacher.Um,I loved working with our,our three to five year olds.I,I just adore that age group.Um,but then decided to go back to school to be a school psychologist and to help further my education,not really knowing where I wanted to land,um,in with,you know,the age groups.But again,just really wanting to be part of that support system.And so did that.Got my master's in school psychology.Um,I then worked in a school,had my son,decided that in order to be the best mommy I could be,um,to leave the school for the moment and do some,um,EF coaching.And at the time,that was actually relatively new.This was about nine years ago.Um,and so I,I loved that because for the first time I got to be supportive more inside the households and within the family and outside of the school system.Um,while kind of helping maintain and collaborating with the schools,I got to really see a whole different kind of angle of children's lives.Um,in the meantime,I of course have been raising my own son.I then,landed this out of nowhere opportunity in the alternative ed world and took more of a leadership role while also getting to be the dream director.Um,and that was literally what it sounds like.Um,I got to help children of all ages,so anywhere from five to21,um,manifest their dreams and desires around their education,launching businesses,you name it,we got to do some cool stuff together.Um,fast forward to November,2020and we ended up,sadly,closing our doors.It then allowed me to really kind of pause and,well,one truthfully,um,acknowledged that I was really burnt out and not in a good place myself.And so I knew that I needed to really,before I dive back into something,um,heal and,and kind of reconnect with who I am at at that moment.Um,while simultaneously I found that exciting because why not have a time of reinvention and so what do I wanna do?And that then led me to,you know,not just through my professional life,but my personal life as well,looking around and seeing all of these,uh,truthfully,women and even more particular mommies,um,carrying the weight of the world,we're now mid-pandemic.I'm seeing every single woman in my life completely depleted.And so,you know,it allowed me to step to the side and say,okay,so my whole life I've,I've wanted to show up for children.I've wanted to be part of helping them succeed in whatever way that means for them.Maybe I've been going about this all wrong.Maybe I can have more impact by supporting and showing up for the women who are kind of at the center.And so I know that when I'm feeling connected,when I'm feeling inspired,when I'm feeling grounded and and myself,I am a much better mommy for Luke.Luke gets a whole different mom than when I'm stressed and overwhelmed and feeling like I'm just carrying everything on my own.And so I,I took that moment to,um,get my lo my life coaching certification and to really dive into what that work could look like,that if I show up for the women I well in my life.And of course anyone who's looking for that support,how can I do that?How can I be part of the healing process that,you know,now it's been three years.Um,we've been through a lot and everything has happened so rapidly that we don't often give ourselves the time and space to reconnect and,and to heal.And so again,how can I be part of that system?Um,and that's when I launched Shift to Clarity about a year ago.Um,and,and hoping that the real impact of how I can help children is by,again,cre,um,creating and supporting the women and having that trickle down effect for modeling on how to reconnect with yourself and identify what's important to you.Um,In the last few months,I have then opened up sessions for,um,what I call inspired EF coaching,executive function coaching,um,for teens and college age young adults.Um,one I really missed working with that age group.And two,I just think with all of these statistics coming out now around the mental health of our youth,they just,they deserve it.They,they need all of the,um,backup and support we can possibly give them.And so again,that was my way of trying to tap back in and be part,be,be part of something that I just think there's a real need for right now.I don't have all the answers,but I just wanna,I wanna be part of it.That's all I know.

Wynter Johnson: 

Well,and being part of it is such,it's such a huge step and everything that you're doing is just incredible,and I would like a dream director personally.I would just like to say that because that's amazing.And I wish there were more programs out there like that for our youth,but also adults.I think sometimes we forget,you know,what we really wanna do and that's important.Um,but it's interesting that you share,you know,you wanna show up for the women,which is what Allie and I wanna do with Aspyn Coaching Aspyn Market.And we've had a lot of conversations right now,how.I think we feel like we're out of covid.We should be back to normal.Everything should be okay.We should have learned all of these really deep lessons from the pandemic.And everything should be new and different,and we should have evolved somehow.And that's not how it worked.It's not how it is working.Um,I think women feel more depleted right now than we did before or during the pandemic.And it's a really interesting phenomenon that's going on.And you know,Allie and I,and in our,our circles of women,uh,we're just not in good spaces.You know,there's,there's really a lot,a lot there.And so when you have women come to you and they say,I'm depleted,I,I'm burnt out,I don't know how to move forward,or,or what's next?Really?Where do you start?

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Hmm,that's such a great question and I have to tell you one of the reasons why I think I automatic,when we first connected Wynter,um,last year,I fell in love with the concept of what the two of you are trying to bring to life.And it just felt like the making it accessible for all and the authenticity behind what you're trying to bring forward.It just came through so strongly and has continued to,and I'm just in awe of what you're creating.So I just wanted to say thank you for allowing me to be a part of that and,and thank you for bringing that to life and having that exist for,quite frankly,all of us.Um,but I,I just wanted to acknowledge that like,it's,it's so important and I,I'm just,I'm just blown away by what you're doing.So thank you.

Wynter Johnson: 

Uh,well,thank you.And to be honest,we couldn't do it without coaches like you who wanna be a part of the solution from a really authentic place.So,um,we equally appreciate you and what you do.It's amazing.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Thank you.Thank you.So now I,I actually don't remem know if I remember the question exactly.I think that it was about when women come to me,where do they even start,right?

Wynter Johnson: 

Yes.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Um,so I think that.For me,it's a,the most important thing when a woman chooses to either work with a coach or even go onto the app right and tap into a coaching session that way,um,to me,it's not even about working with me per se.It's about the fact that they have chosen to commit the time and the space for themselves,whether it's five minutes,10minutes,15minutes.That's what's most important.And so I'd like to take credit,but I think that I'm really just this,like,I symbolize the commitment for themselves,right?So,um,during our time together,more in particular,because you ask how I handle that,I think it's about really digging deep and finding out what's important to you.So much has changed.You know,these are all things that I would've said even three years ago,but now even more so,I think that Covid kind of gave us this kind of,I was gonna say awful learning experience around what is important and what did you miss when Covid was happening versus what do you feel like you should be doing,like what are,what are we diving back into?So,questioning the narrative around that.Like,what is it that you want your life to look like?Because it doesn't have to look like it did three years ago.And in a lot of ways it,it doesn't and it's not going to,while,simultaneously acknowledging and respecting that nothing is slowed down.And in fact,I think as things slowly picked back up,things are just continuing to get more and more rapid and the expectations are rushing back in and it's all,quite frankly,it's all impossible.Like it's really just not doable.And so it's figuring out and prioritizing what's important to you.So,and it's kind of like on an interpersonal level,but then also for your family.And so it's work again,that,that,what are your values?What lights you up?What fills you up?More importantly,what depletes you?How can we work within those,those truths about you?And then you have this familial,you know,level of similar questioning and I think that there's a lot of opportunity for like creating this team environment at home.And,and you know,I did this talk around the holidays,and I think it's the perfect example.Like as a family,identify what's important to you.You think that you have to do all of these things for this particular holiday,but,who likes those?Why are they important and like,who are you doing them for versus creating the time and space for the things that actually matter to you and your,um,significant to other,and if you have children,your children,right?So having that open dialogue,um,around priority and then time management because you have to,there's only so many hours in a day,you have only so much energy,and so figuring out where those need to go and then letting go of the rest,right?So prioritizing,reconnecting,um,and doing things that feel good.And although I say it very flippantly,like letting go of the rest,I realize life isn't that simple.It's very complex.But I do think that there's power in knowing what depletes you or what doesn't feel good.And so considering that and keeping that at the forefront,You know,I think that once you realize that and kind of own it,you then allow yourself to start to see potential in your universe for different solutions on how to make it less painful,for different ways to perhaps start to let go of that.You know,if it's your job,for example.I totally get it.You can't just quit tomorrow.I fully respect that and honor you for having to stay.That being said though,acknowledging that allows you to then say,okay,so in this moment I have to be here,but what can I be working towards?What could this path be that could lead me to launch my own business,to find another company that I wanna go for?Right?Like there's a million different ways,and I know we have a million different circumstances for each of us,but I think.I think knowledge is power and you know,the more you consider these bigger questions for yourself,the more you stop just going in like automatic mode,right?Because it's super easy to do.Days happen quickly.You do have other people who rely on you.You just keep moving forward.That's great.Let's move forward,but let's do it with intention and with mindfulness.

Wynter Johnson: 

There's so much that you just said there.That's amazing.And I think the first piece of that is really allowing yourself to step back and ask,what do I want and what do I want this to look like?And if my current situation doesn't allow that,what steps do I take?But I also really love sitting down as a family unit,and whether it's you and your spouse,you and your kids,everyone,and asking what do we want this to look like is really important.Because I think a lot of times you assume we're all on the same page,we're all moving in the same direction,and then all of a sudden you realize,okay,wait.We aren't,we aren't at all.Um,so I really love the idea of being able to ask that,that collective question to the group.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Yeah.Thank you.I,I,it can be really,really powerful and I think that it also allows your children or even your spouse,right,like to have an opinion and like you want to know what they're thinking.You're asking them to tell you what they want.And again,so often,we just moved so quickly that we missed those opportunities unless we make time for them.

Wynter Johnson: 

Yeah.And we have to make time for them.It's really difficult,but we just have to,time blocking is becoming such a critical thing as we get busier.And I think there's almost this,this mentality and you mentioned of like,you know,in the workplace of,well,everyone got a break for,you know,three years,or you got to work from home for three years and now we're going back to normal and you're gonna make up that lost time.I almost feel like there's like this,this corporate sense of lost time that we're all trying to make up and it's really uncomfortable.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Yeah,yeah.It's a good way to put it.Yeah.Yeah.

Wynter Johnson: 

But so once you figure out,okay,this is my intention,this is what I want this to look like,what role does executive coaching,um,really playing that?

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Oh,so thanks for asking that.Well,and it's funny because when I started coaching originally I kind of saw executive functioning coaching as a part of it all along,but didn't like specifically say that,you know,I think,I think with all coaching,quite frankly,and I'm sure there's people that would disa uh,disagree with me.But I think with all coaching,there's the life aspect,right?So again,the reconnecting with your why,learning about who you are,um,how you wanna show up in the world,what you wanna do,what's important to you,all of those really great juicy bits of yourself,right?But again,most of us don't.I didn't know until I took time to ask these questions about two years ago.Um,and then I think from there you start to create a plan,right?And so that's really what EF coaching is,is that it's being the support system or scaffolding where the person's at,identifying the plan,creating action steps,and then coming back together to say what's working,what's not.Um,and from there,you know,the plan really gets you to the place that you wanna be.The best part about,in my opinion,that inspired EF coaching is that it's not just about,you know,hopping on a call and figuring out your schedule and how to manage your time.I think that it's so much more about,again,acknowledging who you are,um,what lights you up,um,You know,like how can we get you motivated to want to prioritize,to want to,um,set this goal?And,and that to me is really where the magic happens.It's more in the,the connection that we can make so that I get a sense of,you know,who you're proud to be and,um,I don't even know it.It's just,it's really cool to see someone stand in their power and to create a plan from that place.Than having like a,a quick conversation and trying to create this like black and white strategy.Um,And usually things that I may suggest but may not even work,right,because I do really think that Wynter,what might work for you for time management may be entirely different than for Allie and then even for myself,like something entirely different might speak to me.So,um,to me the EF coaching is truly like that,that bit of life coaching upfront,digging deep and then getting into the very,like black and white concrete,um,goal setting,prioritization,time management,and all,all of those things we have to do on a daily basis.

Wynter Johnson: 

I love that you start with bigger picture and then really break it down from there.I have a habit of working backwards,thinking of these are all the things I need to do and what are they going to lead to,which doesn't,if you don't have that ultimate goal in mind,you know,and you get sucked into that day-to-day and the task list and the to-dos,you kind of lose sight sometimes of what you're doing.And I think having an executive functioning coach would really,really help keep that bigger picture in mind.So I love what you do.I love that you're helping peo meet,help people meet their bigger goals,their bigger visions for what they wanna do.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Well,thank you.And,but I wanna say your way isn't wrong.I think there's a lot of power in the way that you frame that up.And I myself would even benefit from practicing that perspective as well.I think it's all about questioning the narrative and like,encouraging to look at it from different angles.So I love that you do that.

Wynter Johnson: 

We need to like meet in the middle there sometimes and see how we can get,yeah.Um,so when I was doing research on executive function and coaching,executive function coaching,um,there was a lot of research around,and honestly a lot of ads that showed up around this methodology for teens.Um,and I know that you work with women on it,but who really benefits from this and,and who do you work with mostly?

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Oh,that,you know,that's a really great question.So,um,I think that,okay,so your executive function skills all occur in the prefrontal cortex of the brain.Now this is something that they say doesn't fully develop until you're25e maybe even30years old,right?So if this is the area of the brain that is in charge of all of these abilities,skills,however you wanna look at it,how are we expected to demand that our teens master these skills before even the age of18?Right.So to me,working with teens can be really powerful because I think,unfortunately the school system is such an easy automatic way for them to feel either valued or imperfect.And I,I think that so often we don't,I,I might get in trouble for saying this,I know everyone's doing their best,but unfortunately the system doesn't always speak to every single child with who they are.Right?And so,again,even the best teachers,even the best school districts,it's extremely hard to individualize at such a level.Um,this is why I believe in personal connection.Um,I think that's the most important starting point for any work with teens.But if they can work with someone,whether it's a,a coach or a guidance counselor,or even a parent that understands the demands of what's being asked of them,right,in their school setting.Um,or even in their part-time job,whatever it is.But then help them and scaffold with them strategies that,again,work for them,not,not the coach,not the parent,um,work for them on how to be on time,on how to create a study plan,on how to,um,break down larger projects.I mean,these are real life skills,right,that we have to be able to do pretty much for the rest of our lives.Um,and this is their first time trying to do it and literally with a part of the brain that isn't fully developed yet.And so I think there's a lot of power in working with teens and even college-aged students.I.Because again,they're just starting out with having to do these things for the first time.And so why not set them up for success and collect confidence in all of these areas rather than say,well,you didn't get your homework in on time.Okay,well most likely they actually did do their homework.It's just not sitting in front of you.So to me,it's really an opportunity um,to help them feel successful and to let them know that it,it's,there's nothing wrong with them,no matter who they are.It's just who they are.Right?We,we all have our strengths.We all have our challenges.Um,And,and so just getting to be that kind of person in their corner,helping them learn to self-advocate.I actually think,especially with teens,that is probably one of my biggest goals as well.Um,and even when with women,actually,now that I'm saying that out loud,um,learning to advocate for yourself is another huge goal when,when working with,um,people of all ages,so,

Wynter Johnson: 

I love the idea for women,teens,anyone who needs it,having that third party with a different perspective as a mom of tween and teens,we run these circles all the time where I think,well,it was written down in the planner,or the school told you it was due that day.How are we so off base here?Or what do we need to do?And so that third party perspective,that's not yours,not theirs,but those different ideas can really be helpful.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Oh yeah.I honestly,like I used to,especially when I was,um,primarily working with families in homes.That was kind of the joke,right,is that a lot of it isn't rocket science and most often,especially with teens,uh,honestly,you guys could be saying the exact same thing that I would come in and say,and I realize that must be so frustrating.Um,but at the same time,it really is the power of that,that third perspective,like you said.Um,and yeah,it,it's not that you guys don't have solutions,it's just whether or not they're ready to hear them from you.Right.

Wynter Johnson: 

You know what,it takes a village and as long as they hear it,it doesn't matter where they hear it from.Like the message is important.And so,but I won't lie.There are moments where you're like,I just said that.Like,how are we?But you do what you do.Um,no one said it was easy,uh,which is awesome.So,you know,another topic related to well,women and teens a lot,there's a big conversation lately around ADD ADHD women having undiagnosed,um,ADD,and it's really,there is a,just like I said,a lot of conversation around it and yeah.Do you see?And,and also when I was doing the research,the executive function coaching came up,partnered with a lot of ads for ADD in women.And so how do you see that impact,what you do,can executive functioning coaching help?How do these go hand in hand?

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

You know,I,I think that they can go hand in hand just because,so,um,ADHD is really,um,a persistent pattern of inattention that shows up,um,and hyperactivity and impulsivity,um,and interferes with their ability of daily functioning and,and again,can present differently in every single person.Um,and so now you're talking about attention,you're talking about,um,impulsivity.So,so many of those EF skills come into play within that,that domain,right?And so I do think that,and quite frankly,almost,I was gonna say a large majority of the families I've worked with,um,have a child with ADHD.Not all,but a lot of them.Um,So it's not surprising that there's a lot of conversation around this.Do I think it's beneficial?Yes.Do I think,uh,you know,the whole women aspect,so I recently read this book and I'm looking for the title,sorry.I'm Oh,okay.A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD.Have you heard of this one?

Wynter Johnson: 

No,but I,I am excited to hear more about it.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

It is amazing.It is game changing and it's really,oh my gosh,it's so much about breaking the,the cycle of harmful thoughts and shame and like acknowledging,that you are whole again,no matter who you are or how you show up,and like really leaning into essentially your superpowers.Um,Hopefully she doesn't mind how I just kind of summarize that.But it,it's incredible and I highly recommend it,not even just for women with ADHD,um,whom you're right are there is this crazy wave of new diagnoses and,and women that never even considered it until their child had been diagnosed,that then led them to looking more into it.Um,it's,it's really,really fascinating.But to me,I mean,this book just captures it so beautifully.It's letting yourself off the hook for not being who you think you should be.Like this perfect mom who can do this,or this perfect employee who can do that.Like acknowledging your strengths and then figuring out how to make the rest work for you.It's just incredible.And to me,the way that she does such a great job,really focusing in on stopping the harmful,um,thought process,it,I don't even know.I'm not even sure what to say about it.It is just so good and I'm so thrilled that women now have this,this guide,um,to hopefully start to heal and,and find and reconnect with their own self-love.Um,and that,that truly is,again,as a coach in general,but even more so for women who feel as if they are imperfect because they're not organized or their house is always a mess or they can't get to places on time.Um,How about we acknowledge that we just have a lot of impossible responsibilities and expectations.So like,okay,now we can talk about it from that place,not because you are not enough or because you're not doing enough.No,it's impossible.So now we gotta figure out how to operate from here,right?Like,yes,you are who you are,but,but let's,let's work with that instead of something's wrong with you and you're not doing enough.You know what I mean?

Wynter Johnson: 

And we're,we are constantly made to feel like something's wrong with us and we aren't doing enough.And you have all these pressures about how we think we should be and what we think we should be,but then you also feel like you're constantly being told what you should be,how you should think,how you should be doing it.And it's a lot to break through.And kind of where we started this conversation,if you can take a minute and say,okay,wait,I don't want to be that.I don't want to have that.This is what I want this to look like.How do I get there?Um,okay,so we'll definitely link to that book in the show notes.There's another book,I have not read this,but it feels like it would be helpful in this conversation,is a book called,um,and I'm,the title might not be a hundred percent,but How to Clean House While Drowning.Um,that's been really,that's been in my circles a lot lately and I haven't read that.We'll link to it in show notes,but,um,sounds like we're right kind of in that vein there.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

I love it.Thank you.

Wynter Johnson: 

So once we figure out,once we say,okay,this is what I want this to look like,I'm gonna,you know,get rid of those messages of who and what I should be,I'm gonna figure out what I wanna be,what I want our family to be,what I want all of this to look like.I'm gonna,you know,start to work with an executive function coach.I'm gonna,you know,really move forward and be intentional about what I'm doing,which I think is just really,so key,and I know a big thing for Allie and I right now is like,let's be intentional.What tools do you recommend?And as a coach,really what,what do you work with?

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Oh,so,okay.That's a very tricky question because again,everyone is so different.Um,I have to admit that I really strongly believe in a planner,and I know so many people wanna roll their eyes.People either love or hate planners,and for the people who hate planners,what I really mean by that is,figuring out a system of how to capture important dates and information.Um,if you're in school,how to capture your homework,right?Like,I'm not saying it has to be a,a notebook or,um,or even like your traditional planner that the school gives you.I'm not saying it has to be any certain way.It can be a digital planner,it can be,um,simply writing in your notes.Whatever works for you.But you have to have a system um,on how you're gonna capture that information.If it's just a plain notebook,great.Right?But some sort of way to capture and keep important dates and information.Um,honestly,I love a good timer.Um,I think there's some really great meditation apps.Meditation is one of my go-tos for all of these things.Um,And,you know,with each person it's gonna be different,right?Like sometimes when,um,trying to focus,for example,some people respond well to like a low,um,almost like meditative music.Other people could never listen to music,right?So again,it's,it's really hard for me to say,oh,this is,this is what I use for every single person.Cuz there's nothing like that.Nothing works,um,for every single person.But um,yeah,people like different things,so you have to,you have to pay attention to that for sure.

Wynter Johnson: 

I love even starting with a planner though.Allie and I are pro planner and like I notice a big difference when,if I just jump into my week without planning it,without really closing out the last week and starting fresh,my week feels off,I feel outta sorts.I don't have direction like I,I am,I ha I,I function much better when I have that plan and I know what I'm doing.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Yeah.Ditto.I,I have to admit,and you guys again,like the resources you provide in the app are just really,really powerful.So well done.

Wynter Johnson: 

Yeah,we have our planner there and one of the things I love about it is you can customize it so much.And I,it's interesting cuz I'll ask Allie all the time,how are you doing your planner right now?Because it,everyone does it so differently and she'll have tips.I'm like,okay wait,that is definitely how I'm gonna do it.And over the years we've been using the Aspyn Planner now for years and it looks so different from how I used to use it to how I use it now.And I'm sure it's gonna keep evolving and changing and uh,yeah.But I'm a big pro,pro planner person.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

I love that.And actually,you just reminded me like this is almost one of the reasons why I think EF group coaching could be really powerful because something that works for Allie might work for you.Right?Or something like,let's say there's a group of,I don't know,five women together.Like those tips and different ways that they approach things can be super powerful.Like even more powerful than just my,you know,kind of throwing ideas out there,I think it would be really fun to,to have deeper conversation around these things with multiple people.

Wynter Johnson: 

I agree.And it's so funny because I,there are a couple apps that I use all the time.I love,love,love the Emeals app.I use it all the time.And I was telling a friend about it and she was like,wait,what is this?And we started talking about apps that we use and how,you know,you think everyone knows about every app and they really don't.And so Allie and I put together a list.We asked a group of uh,women that we have on,on Facebook,you know,what apps do you use?And we compiled it all,and I can link to that as well.But there were so many amazing apps where you're like,okay,wait.This is a thing,like,you can help me with this.And so shared knowledge,there's so much value in that,especially as,you know,women and we're trying to get it all done and there's,there's ways to make it easier on ourselves.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Yes.So well put.I agree.

Wynter Johnson: 

Yeah.Um,Allie,what questions do you have?

Allie Nickle: 

Oh my gosh,I've been jotting notes down like crazy.Um,I guess one of the big questions I have back,um,with executive functioning is,um,you mentioned motivation,how you find that motivation.What do you do when that motivation isn't there?Um,I've read so many things about motivation of motivation isn't real,you can't wait for that motivation.You just have to get started.And,um,versus finding that motivation,finding that muse,finding the energy to move forward with what you're setting your goals towards and everything.So I guess I'm just curious what your thoughts are on motivation.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Oh gosh,that's such a big question.And even so,I have two different thought paths going on right now.I have my own relationship with motivation that I'm like wanting to answer with,and then I have,of course,with the coaching.Um,for me personally,you know,I think quite often my motivation will be shut down by fear.So,acknowledging why the mo motivation isn't there,that that's kind of my,and even,even for my clients as well.Um,what is it that's getting in the way,right?So is it fear?Is it time management?Is it,um,just not giving yourself the time and space to be still and to allow it to come to life?Um,Versus,you know,one could argue that a child with,or even an adult with ADHD,if the motivation isn't there,like if there's nothing turning that part of the brain on right now,it's,it's really hard to then initiate a task or then to dig in.And so sometimes,sometimes that's like,okay,well great,you know what,let's go outside,move around,let's like get the body turned back on,turn the brain back on and see if you can sit down and get started.Um,I do think more often than not that it's really that task initiation piece,so just pushing past that,um,figuring out,okay,is it setting a timer for two minutes to see if something happens within those two minutes?Is it going in and finding a deeper prompt?You know,depending on the task that we're talking about,um,to help you.Get started or kick you off in the direction.Um,but I think one,why is the motivation not there?And then two,getting tactical about it.You know,finding a strategy to help,yeah,kind of fake it for a minute.Try to dive in,and then if it's really not coming,yeah.Is it because you're just really distracted because you're waiting to hear about a job?Or is it because,you know,you just really don't wanna be doing it.Like what,what is making you kinda not be as,um,productive in whatever way you want to be?I don't even know if that answered the question,but,excuse me,those were kind of my initial thoughts on it.

Allie Nickle: 

So if somebody came to you saying,I have no motivation,I don't wanna do this,what,what steps would you take to coach them through it?

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Hmm.So,I think that it all depends on what it is that they're trying to accomplish.Um,if it's,if it's like no motivation due to true depression,um,then that is something that I would in a very safe and gentle way after getting to know the person that I would actually,if that's what it really seemed,it may be more about,then I would obviously try to encourage them to go seek out,um,well just to go explore that while also maintaining our dynamic and our relationship in hopes that as they start to explore whether or not that's really what's happening,um,we can start to try to reignite that spark ourselves as well.And so,um,again,finding little ways.No.Getting them to acknowledge the things that bring them enjoyment,and then finding little ways throughout your day to infuse those little bits of enjoyment.I think that,I think that the little moments right now are kind of all we have.Um,and I know for me it's within those,those little moments that help ground and,and kind of reset when I'm really overwhelmed or when I'm um,just not feeling my best self,which can mean a million different things right now,quite frankly.Um,but it's,it's chipping away,right?It's kind of shift to clarity is,is literally why I called it this.It's,it's kind of,whether it's the brain fog,whether it's.All of these things calling for your attention.It's,it's shifting all of that out of the way to get clear,to find clarity on what it is that you truly,truly want,and then how can we get you there?And,and I do think that it,there's no magic wand.There's no quick fix.I think that it happens in small moments,you know,if we all had all the time in the world,all of the resources and financial backing to make anything happen quickly,like,okay,maybe,maybe that could be a quick fix,but you'd miss out on so much of the journey anyways.I don't even know how much we would really enjoy that end result anyways.So if we can find ways to enjoy that path,whether it's to a new job,to going back to school,to just finding out how to do small things for yourself to to show yourself love on a daily basis,especially again,as a mom.These are conversa conversations I have quite,quite,um,frequently,um,creating that path to those,those little bits of enjoyment of,you know,spark,whatever you wanna call it,um,and then building on that.And then I think the more that we experience those,the more we crave them and the more we're open and actually seek them out and realize that we're worthy to have those moments.And how can we,I I,I think that it's just this,this thing that once you get a little bit of it,it,it kind of starts to fill up.Um,you have to be intentional about it.You have to make that decision on a daily basis.Um,But I do,I I think that,like it,again,back to meditation for me,um,it's now something I crave and I have to do it on a daily basis.That is one,one,there's a couple things,but that is one thing that I will never give up.I,I can't,I can't do it.It wouldn't be fair to me.It wouldn't be fair to my family or my clients.So,

Wynter Johnson: 

I think finding that one little thing is so important and a,and like sticking with it.So many times,I know this is good for me.I know I feel better doing this.And then you stop doing it and you,you ask yourself,why am I not,why am I not doing this anymore?So I love that you do it and you know that it's better for everyone.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Yeah.I mean,don't get me wrong,there's,there's definitely times where I do not have perfect days,but the,the two things that I,I really find grounding,um,for me is,is a short,depending on how much time I have,a short meditation and then a quick little Duolingo,um,French,uh,like little lesson,but those are like my two things.Like if I don't,if I don't do those things at some point in the day,I almost feel like,and I know you're not supposed to do this,cuz the whole thing is to not feel like a failure.But like those are the two things that if I get those done,it's like a win in so many categories for me,if that makes sense.

Wynter Johnson: 

If not doing self-care,that's okay to feel like I failed at something,if it's self-care for yourself,like that feels different.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

That's fair.I appreciate that.Yeah.

Allie Nickle: 

All right.Well,thank you so much for tuning into the See You in the AM podcast,Jenai.This was fantastic.I,like I said earlier,I wrote down so many notes and I have so many more questions I wanna ask you,so hopefully we can have you back.Um,but I think that's all we have time for today.Uh,we're your hosts,Allie Nickle and Wynter Johnson.And a special thanks to Jenai for taking the time to chat with us today.

Jenai Fitzpatrick: 

Thank you.This is great.

Allie Nickle: 

Uh,our goal at Aspyn Market is to make mental health,self-guided therapy and coaching resources available to everyone,and we just skimmed the surface today.If anything we discussed resonated with you and you're interested in learning more to help your own mental health,check out our app Aspyn Coaching,where you can get unlimited access to hundreds of hours of self-guided therapy and coaching from our team of Aspyn Coaches,just head over to AspynMarket.com,that's Aspyn with a Y,and start your seven day free trial now.Get full access to all of our features for seven days,including featured daily videos,guided journeys,journal prompts,downloadable resources and exercises.The path to a happier,healthier use starts here.Until our next episode,we hope you have a wonderful day and we'll see you in the am.